The High Mental Weight Of A Food Allergy Mom

I’ve been hearing about the mental weight that moms carry. How we do and feel so much more than what people know. In fact, I read an article over on Urbanmoms.ca about this very thing which inspired this article about the high mental weight carried by food allergy moms.

If we haven’t met yet, I’m Corinna.

After 16 years I’ve come so far and I’ve learned to reduce the mental weight of food allergies. But I KNOW that many of you reading this feel at least a small part of this every day. I also know that you wouldn’t change being a mom to your kids for the world because food allergy moms are the best!

I hope this article helps you know that you’re not alone.

Now, as an experienced food allergy mom and coach, I help you keep your food allergy child safe without missing out on life at home, social events, school, and travel! Make sure to follow me on Instagram @friendlypantry (or https://www.instagram.com/friendlypantry) for practical food allergy knowledge from someone WHO GETS IT.

This is one of my MOST popular blogs and I’ve been told that it has helped many, many food allergy mamas put their struggles into words. I hope it helps you too.

Here it is:

It’s funny because I didn’t think the weight would be that heavy at first.

Yes, I went through a mourning phase of giving up many of my favorite foods, but worse yet, I realized I wouldn’t be able to pass on traditions that I loved as a kid like decorating cookies, gingerbread house decorating, or just having an ice cream cone on a hot day.

Not to mention the extreme stress of realizing that if I accidentally gave my child even a trace of their allergen, it could result in a life-threatening reaction.

But after the mourning and the initial fear, I became determined.

I was going to make everything and do everything so my kids never had to feel left out. They would not realize they were going without because I wasn’t going to let that happen. I was energized and I didn’t think it would be that hard.

But somewhere between baby food and family meals, reality hit me.

Not only do I struggle with the endless list of tasks that are necessary to run a home, but I also add tasks that have life-threatening consequences for my babies if I don’t do them right.

It’s not just trying to make dinner that the family eats every night; it’s ensuring that the dinner is completely safe with constant label reading and worrying that I might cause a life-threatening reaction.

It’s calling companies to make sure there isn’t a chance of cross-contact in the factory.

It’s cooking everything from scratch because there aren’t many companies that are allergy-aware; and the ones that are cost as much as my firstborn. And then there’s the fact that eating in restaurants requires extensive research which means no breaks from cooking.

Every single social event is another endless list of tasks that need to get done. Friends and family who are willing to help need to be educated about how to cook safely. Even then, it takes days of texting/emailing to make sure ingredients & recipes are truly safe.

And the friends and family that don’t get it??

The mental load of trying to either get them to understand or feel the separation from them because of it is hard to bear at times.

Then there are the tasks involved with things that others take for granted.

Like finding & educating a babysitter that you can trust to recognize anaphylaxis and properly use the EpiPen when needed. Or, the extensive research required to go on a vacation so you’ll feel rested instead of worrying the whole time. Preschool or school comes with its challenges of safety, inclusion, and worry too.

The mental weight is already unbearable, and there’s still the regular “momming” that needs to happen. From keeping the toilet paper stocked to replacing the broken coffee machine to keeping the kid’s clean with clothes that fit and their hair cut.

Often, every spare moment is used to care for our family members. Whether you work outside the home or not, evenings are filled with cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, activities, bedtime routines, grocery shopping, errands and more.

I found out when I got shingles that the mental weight takes a toll not only on our mental capacity, but our physical bodies too. It happened at a time when my youngest daughter went to grade one.

Honestly, at this time, I thought the mental weight would have decreased, given her new independence, but unfortunately, I was wrong. There’s always something to manage, if not easier, it’s different.

Thank goodness for my hubby (and my daughter’s food allergy dad), because he helped me through. Not only does he help me carry the weight, but he also has his own mental load to carry.

Now, when the kids go to bed, I try to include downtime by catching up with a friend, watching Netflix with my hubby, or a workout; but honestly, I still find myself heading out to find allergy-friendly groceries or buying a new pair of shoes for the kiddo that outgrew them. Not to mention the laundry.

So no matter where you’re at in your food allergy mom journey, this is for you TODAY: you’re not alone.

Somewhere there’s another mom just like you reading and re-reading that food label at 9 pm at night. Or there’s a mom searching for a safe recipe or emailing about what food will be served at the birthday party after the kids go to bed.

These moms love their kids more than anything, but they are tired, mentally exhausted, and need a break, just like you.

If you’re not a food allergy mom, keep them in mind when you plan your child’s birthday or school treat. Because by understanding the huge mental weight they carry, you can help lighten the load and make a HUGE impact on their lives and their kids’ lives, with small adjustments (just ask how you can help). Because what’s better than moms standing together and helping each other?

In my opinion, nothing.

If you’re reading this and want help navigating the mental weight of food allergies, I have a series of low-cost workshops to help.

Get Others To Take Food Allergies Seriously - Easily get others to take food allergies seriously and help you keep your child safe instead of making you feel like you're being super vigilant for no reason.

Get Over The Fear of Trying New Foods - Feel calm instead of nauseous so you can give your child the new foods your doctor recommended.

Calm Epinephrine Workshop - Help you and your child feel positive about the epinephrine injector so you never hesitate if it’s needed.

School Allergy Plan Template - Your detailed guide to keeping your child safe and included at school.

Food Allergy Travel - Our family has traveled worldwide with multiple severe food allergies. Learn my BEST tips and get all the planning checklists and planning templates you need for a trip with food allergies.

Dining Out With Food Allergies - Make dining out as safe as possible and feel confident knowing when it’s safe and when to leave.